Newcastle's January signing Papiss Demba Cisse has been a revelation for the club, scoring nine goals in his first eight matches. According to Opta Sports , his current rate of scoring a goal every 66 minutes he plays is the best in Premier League history. But who is this man who cost Newcastle a relatively meager £9 million? Here is all the information we assume to be true about him. -He was conceived and immediately birthed after his parents scored a match winning goal with a rare male-female tandem bicycle kick in Dakar, Senegal on June 3 of 1986. -As a child, he realized that the moon looks a lot like a football and decided that one day he would score a goal with it. Unfortunately, NASA has denied his many requests to build a goal large enough to accomplish this. As a result, he got their funding systematically reduced. -At the age of 20, Cisse joined French side Metz. In four years with the club, he was loaned out twice because they were too afraid of his goal scoring ability. More...